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When a woman starts to feel the slightest interest in you as a man, she will start to test you. This testing will intensify during the attraction phase and will diminish throughout the other stages. However, it will never turn off. Some women test more than others, but testing goes on, even past seduction during a long term relationship.

If you pass these tests a woman’s attraction will go off the charts, but if you fail to meet demands her attraction will extinguish. This is why it is very important to understand the nature of these tests.

One thing that should become clear is that these tests come very naturally among girls and that it is normal for a woman to test the man if she is about to sleep with him. She wants to determine is he is of high social status or is he pretending to be. Her emotional circuitry does not understand that she may not be having a baby with you. Modern contraception is relatively new to the human race and it does not aect reproductive instincts. They come up with these tests unconsciously – women are not in any form mean or evil or anything of that sort in testing you.

You should also be very happy to notice these tests, because they mean that she is interested in you. On the other hand, if a woman doesn’t test much it doesn’t mean that she isn’t attracted to you, it just happens that, for whatever reason, she doesn’t do it as oftenas other women. Also, women in their fertile days of the month tend to be more open to sexual invitations, and tend to screen men much more than normally.

Types of tests

A girl will try to test if any of the traits you are displaying are real. Metaphorically
speaking, she will pull your hair to see whether you are wearing a wig or not. She may test in any way she feels, but most of the time she will just tease you and provoke you to see if you react. If so, then to what extent. She will be especially screening for any negative emotional reactions.

How to respond to congruence tests:

a) Do not respond Ignore them. Talk about something else.

b) Respond: “Yes”, “Of-course” and move on.

c) Tell her what she is trying to do. “I see what youre doing there… trying to tease
me. Nice try.”

d) Answer with something irrational. “But of course Money penny”, “one plus one
equals three. Everybody knows that”, or, “I do not speak Chinese.”

e)  You can out frame her by finding something clever to answer back. This looks
impressive, but remember that the less energy you consume for your answers the
better it becomes for the long run. Less is more. For more details look here.

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As a rule of thumb, women make decisions whether they like you or not within the first minutes. If a woman has decided that she is not attracted to you, no amount of effort is going to change her mind. Many men have wasted time and energy by ignoring this simple reality of having fallen into the Lets Just Be Friends zone.

All in all, there is nothing you can do to change her mind. Unless… you change yourself 🙂 Should you be able to leave your old loser habits behind and become a man, she won’t be able to hold on to her old beliefs about you. Now that you’re different and can make her feel different, present yourself to her anew and watch the fireworks 🙂

This however does not revoke the importance of a first impression. Women are used to making up their minds (about you-know-what) according to their first impressions so changing their minds about it will be somewhat of a paradigm shift. You can make it happen, but with a considerably more effort on your part than if you had left the right impression on her the first time around (which she would have returned by leaving the right kind of impressions on you – her claw-marks on your back).

For most men, there is nothing they can do to improve their attractiveness, because they think that either you are born with it or not. For the professional seducer however, there is another reality: he knows which attraction switches to flip and which one not.

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Jun
11

You Can Overcome Fear of Rejection

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Dating can be a daunting pastime. For some it is a wonderful game, full of interest and intrigue, whilst for others is an embarrassing and awkward nightmare. You start asking yourself what on earth you are going to say, whether to try a new chat up line or to talk about the weather and questioning how you look or what you should wear and how to get past go in this dating arena.

The fear of making a fool of yourself, or being embarrassed or openly rebuffed can sometimes be enough to make you turn tail and retreat at a rapid pace. It is this anticipatory anxiety which causes all of the issues as opposed to what actually happens when in the dating situation.

We all, I believe, know that not everyone we are attracted to will be attracted to us in return. We also know that the timing may be wrong; that other person may already be in a relationship and therefore not free to respond to your approaches.

This does not mean that you are being rejected; it is simply that the timing isn’t right. But the person who is afraid of being rejected will tend to believe that this is what has happened; the tendency is to judge what happens from one’s own perspective instead of taking a step back and viewing it from a different angle.

We tend to see what we expect to see. If you are afraid of rejection you will expect it and see it even when it’s not really there. But once you overcome fear of rejection, you see things from a different perspective; you recognize that you are attractive and desirable to others, and no longer interpret circumstances as a pattern of rejection. Dating should be fun; it should be interesting, exciting and easy.

Once you overcome fear of rejection you see your situation with the eyes of curiosity and positive anticipation. You look forward to seeing who you might meet, to finding out more about them and ascertaining what you have in common. You enjoy meeting new people, both as friends and as potential material for a more serious relationship. Either way, it’s fun. Even when you meet people who you do not have anything much in common with, you can, when you are no longer afraid of rejection, enjoy the fact that you are all unique and individual; you can enjoy each other’s differences.

To overcome fear of rejection you have to learn to step back and to see things from a different angle. You have to learn to change your inner expectations. Hypnosis is extremely useful in executing this task as hypnosis provides access to the inner workings of your mind. With hypnosis you can build your confidence and feel completely at ease when flirting with potential play mates.

Roseanna Leaton, specialist in hypnosis downloads for dating confidence and relationship issues.

 

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So you’re there at a party, bar, gym or even the train station, and you’re pretty sure that you’ve just spotted your ideal date. How do you get the conversation going? What should you talk about? How should you behave?

Intitial Moves

A pretty decent way of opening the conversation is simply to say “Hi” or “Hello”. It sounds simple, but it’s non-threatening and it’s almost guaranteed to get a response, even though that’s probably going to be “Hi” too. It’s then best to stick to some tried and tested openers for the first few minutes. If you’re at a party or somewhere where you may have mutual acquaintances, then asking how they know the host or hostess is always a good opening gambit. If, however, you’re in a bar or somewhere else where there is no previous personal connection, you could try something such as “Are you local?” instead. Avoid dishing out such cliches as “Do you come here often” or “What’s a nice girl/guy doing in a place like this?” These types of cheesy chat up lines are incredibly hard to pull off unless you manage to inject a healthy amount of humor into them.

Keep the Conversation Going

Once you’ve got the ball rolling, there are three major ways to develop the conversation flow:

1. Finding Out Information

Make it your mission to to learn as much information about the person you are interested in as you can. Great general topics include:

Work (“What do you do?”, “Where do you work?”, “Do you enjoy it?”) Hobbies (“What do you like to do for fun?”, “What do you enjoy doing in your leisure time?”) Family (“Do you have any brothers or sisters?”) Education (“Did you go to school with…?”, “What did you study at college?”)

You coule also try to find out information about their favourite food, pets, holidays; in fact anything that will help you to learn about that person and allow you to find out your common interests, hobbies and goals.

2. Following Up On Topics

If you find out that they love watching films (or reading or skydiving), follow this up. Did they enjoy the latest box office hit? Do they prefer quieter, art-house films? Which actor do they enjoy watching the most? Which director? What are their favourite 5 films? The possibilities for interesting topics are only limited by your imagination.

3. Asking Open-ended Questions

Ask “Why”, “How” or “What” questions that can’t be answered with a simple “Yes”, “No”, or “Maybe” to ensure the conversation flows naturally. So instead of asking them “Do you know the host?” ask “How do you know the host?”. However, do be careful not to bombard them with questions without actually listening to the answers. Take the information they give you to follow up and develop the conversation further.

Showing Interest

When you are talking to another person, it’s important to let them know that you are listening to what they say. There’s nothing more annoying than talking to someone who seems to be glancing over your shoulder all the time, as it gives the impression that they are scanning the party for someone more interesting to speak to. On the other hand, staring unwaveringly at a person can make them feel uncomfortable, so it’s essential to vary your gaze every so often. Of course – it’s also important to know where to look when you are not looking someone directly in the eye; if a man talks directly to a woman’s cleavage or a woman seems to be fascinated by a man’s bald spot, then the conversation is most likely to be a short and awkward one.

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